Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
