dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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