I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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