I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
