I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize