She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
