Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
my liver is dry heaving
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize