At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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