Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
