You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Still dying that you shit outside
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
