It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
