We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
