Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
