I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
