Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Randomize
