Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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