You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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