party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
