I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
