afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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