i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
