I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
