i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
