how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
