i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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