I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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