I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
