Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
