His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
