taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
