Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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