I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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