i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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