"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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