Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Randomize
