when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
