I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize