Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
