I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
they're like a gay fantastic four
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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