youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
