Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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