just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
