Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize