Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
