im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize