what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
