he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
