You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
