If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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