I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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