We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize