Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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