a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
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