Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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