now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
