Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
