I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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