My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
