ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
