Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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