check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
